Behind the Smile
by Scorpia250
Summary: Jou reflects on his and Seto's break up. Oneshot Songfic. Lonestar's Smile SxJ. My first songfic so please go easy on me... implied shounenai, a little bit, so you have been warned! A little bit of sadness, but not really angst...


**Scorpia**: Hiya peoples! Um to those of you waiting for the next chapter of Genetically Engineered Love, I'm sorry! My computer crashed and I lost everything for the eighth chapter (which I had written four times…(growls)) so now I have to restart for the FIFTH time…and well yeah…I'll let you guys get on to the reading.  
**Warnings**: None, Um ONE bad word (if you could even call if bad…(rolls eyes))um AU, shounen-ai (well not really, just read it and you'll see…)Don't like it don't read it, SxJ Disclaimer: Don't own YuGiOh, but it would be nice if I could have it as a birthday present…(For those who want to know (hint hint), I'll be turning sixteen on Nov. 18th!) I also do NOT own Lonestars' "Smile"  
**Font**: "blah blah blah" Normal **Blah blah blah** The song part **_Blah blah blah_** Song and normal (you'll see)  
**POV**: Jounouchi's Song: Smile by Lonestar (eh its my first song-fic, so please don't judge too harsh…)

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**I still remember the night we met.  
You said you loved my smile.****  
**Looking through the picture book, I realize that I never really got a lot of pictures of him. But who needs pictures when you can remember? I smile gently, sadness seeming to radiate from that small facial movement. It's funny, how one small thing such as a smile can hide such sadness.

**But your love was like a summer breeze.  
Oh it lasted for a while**  
I trace my finger around the edges of one of the few pictures that I have of him. Specially bordered with a metallic blue gel pen with a single red rose on the top right most corner, the stem and thorns curling down the sides. I had drawn this design especially for him. Especially for this picture.

In the picture he was walking away from me, his little brother besides him carrying his brief case and hurrying to catch up to his older brothers longer strides. The sun was setting, creating the most beautiful backdrop. Leaves were blown along the street they were striding on, showing that a gust of wind had blown through, flapping that ridiculous yet intimidating trench coat and making his tidy brown hair windswept and even more striking. His cerulean eyes reflected iciness, a coldness that warned every one away.

**I could hold on a little tighter I know  
But when you love someone, you gotta let 'em go  
**That was when I realized I loved him. In that perfect, beautiful moment, I loved him with all my heart. I just managed to get my cell phone out after fumbling for it and took the picture with the built in camera. That was the first picture I had ever taken of him. My finger stopped tracing and landed on a thorn.

I couldn't stand it any more. Picking up the book, I gently closed it and my honey brown eyes slid shut, trying to shut out the hurting. I placed it on the shelf with the other books. It was easily the biggest on the shelf, taking up two spaces. I look at it and slowly back away, my eyes still riveted on the big picture book.

Suddenly, I hear the door slam open. I am jolted out of my misery and notice that while I had stared, I had started to cry. I blink rapidly, swiping at my face with ruff, deft fingers quickly trying to get rid of the salty liquid.

"Jou? Oh here you are! Come on! We have to meet the gang at the arcade soon." Yugi had come through the door, a smile on his face, looking positively radiant. Soon though he caught sight of my face, and his smile turned into a frown of worry.  
"Jou? Jounouchi what's the matter? Why are you crying?"

**I'm gonna smile 'cause I wanna make you happy  
Laugh, so you can't see me cry  
I'm gonna let you go in style  
Even if it kills me I'm gonna smile**

I laugh while still wiping my tears. "Eh oh it's nothin' Yug'. Just got sumthin in my eye, dat's all." I say and I look at Yugi and smile. Yugi looks uncertain for a little bit, but when he sees me smiling, he smiles back. I laugh and quickly move to slip on my shoes and jacket. Yugi holds the door open as we go out and then I lock it. Yugi has already forgotten about what had happened.

But I hadn't. I could still feel the sadness, just around the corner. If I let my smile waver for even a second, I know I would start crying again, and I don't want to do that. We both start walking to the arcade in companionable silence.

**Kiss me once for the good times baby  
Kiss me twice for good bye  
**As we walk by the Italian restaurant, I can't help but think of when we would go there every other weekend, if he could get time off of work.

He would try to get off work as early as he could, just to surprise me and take me to that small, little hole-in-the-wall, romantic restaurant. That was where we went for our first date. On that date he had looked into my eyes and told me he loved me.

"Your smile is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen." He told me. When he said that, I laughed and kissed him.

It was fitting that it was where we had our last date. Where I had my first kiss. And my last.

**You can't help what you don't feel  
And it doesn't matter why**  
I was devastated when he decided that we should break up. His company just couldn't afford to have any bad publicity.

"Sure," he said, taking my hand in his. "It was great and all, and I really do love you, but I just don't have time for you right now." My heart broke.

**Give me a chance to bow out gracefully  
Because that how I want you to remember me**  
I remember looking down at the red and white checkered table cloth and slipping my hand out from under his. I remember taking a deep breath and then I laughed mirthlessly. "Of course dear. The company comes first after all"

"Jou, puppy, I'm sorry. I just wish this could have worked out." I remember standing up suddenly and scooting back the chair, the chair legs scratching horribly loud in my ears against the floor, my arms braced on the table top. I then looked up and smiled at him with my brightest and happiest smile.

"You know what? It's ok." I say happily. "I understand completely." And with that I walked out of the little hole-in-the-wall restaurant, leaving him sitting at the table to pay the bill. At the door, I stopped for a few seconds and looked over my shoulder. I gave him a true smile, showing how truly hurt and scared I was to be without him. I vaguely wondered if he still thought that smile was still beautiful. I barely registered the sadness in his own face.

I then walked out of the door and out of his life.

I held no grudges against him. I still don't. After all, how can you help what you don't feel? He just couldn't feel the love that I had felt.

**I'm gonna smile 'cause I wanna make you happy  
Laugh, so you can't see me cry  
I'm gonna let you go in style  
And even if it kills me  
I'm gonna smile**

Suddenly, we're at the arcade and are spotted by the gang.  
"Yugi! Jou! Hey you guys!" Greetings where shouted across the room and I am soon surrounded by laughing and joking friends. We talk about school and regular kid stuff. We also talk about saving the world and other things that are definitely not kids stuff, such as the shadow realm and spirits of the Millennium Items.

But lingering in my mind is the thought of my ex-boyfriend and sadness. I smile when I think of his words, nobody seeing the sadness behind it. The sadness was a closely guarded secret and nobody but myself new about it.

They all think I'm happy and carefree. His words keep coming back to me, those words of his first date. I come to a conclusion right then and there in the midst of my friends.

**I'm gonna smile 'cause I wanna make you happy**  
I hide everything I am feeling.

**Laugh, so you won't see me hurtin'  
**I'm hiding everything because of one person.

**I'm gonna let you go in style**  
He said he loved my smile.

**Even if it kills me**  
Seto…  
**_I'm gonna smile…

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_**

Well, please remember that this is the first time I have ever written a Song-fic. So if you could tell me what I did wrong (I'm positive I messed up some where…) I will go back and fix it! I'm sure I botched this whole thing…(sweat drops) I just have a bad feeling about this one…It's like 23:30 over here, so that may be one of the problems…

Um also I wanna know what I should post next. I (had) a very long YxY fic. Before my computer crashed…But I guess, I could retype that when I type up the other SxJ fic that I came up with (sighs)…So I need your guy's opinions. Do you want a serious Yugi and Yami fic AU, set in an AU England inn/forest elfish sot of thing, or a funny Seto and Jou set in AU domino High school involving madness of the random kind? Or an adventure (which i haven't really thought out) Where Yugi goest o Egypt to find a long lost tomb...YxY of course...  
Please review and tell me! And I'll try to get G.E.L up soon…

**Yami**: G.E.L…My god that sounds so stupid…I could use it to make my hair stand up even more!  
**Scorpia:** Shut up! (growls and whips out her brand-new Samurai swords) You know, if sharpening these weren't illegal, you would have died quickly. As such, I will now stab you with the blunt swords and you will die an extremely excruciatingly painful, slow death! (brandishes swords)  
**Yami**: (gets out his own sword and a dagger)  
**Yugi:** You guys…what did I tell you about getting into fights where the readers/reviewers can see you?  
**Yami & Scorpia:** (looks at one another then trudges to a closet where clashing and banging and war cries resound from)  
**Yugi:** (sighs and sweat drops) um right. Don't worry, they won't really kill each other…Well at least I hope not, I always get stuck with cleaning up the mess…yeah…anyways read and review? Hehe he…

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**Scorpia**: Um hi.The Sitewasn't working last night, so I decided to get up early to-  
**Yami:** Early? It's 11:30 am!  
**Scorpia**: You are lucky to get me out of bed that early on a Saturday. So any ways please review! 


End file.
